Finding The One

You've heard the term before. Much of the young adults of our generation hold steadfast to this belief. If you happened to be living in the cave for the last 20 or so years, then let me quickly explain to you this school of thought. It's the belief that God has designed for us that one person that is meant to be our spouse. As we approach our dating life, we can either pursue after our "one" until we find that one or be absolutely sure that our first relationship is with our one. I've always struggled with this thought because what if our "one" lived a thousand miles away from us. I mean, do we find our "one" in our circle of friends, do we just sit tight until God brings that one into our lives, or do we journey to some random place like Costa Rica to find that one? Or maybe this "finding the one" isn't really that biblical at all?

What is our mindset when we go into a relationship? What questions do you ask yourself? "Do they treat me right?" "Will they meet my needs?" "How do I know if I've found the one?" What's common in these questions? What can you do for me. In an article I read recently, it discusses how modern dating is essentially a selfish endeavor. Many of us have been caught up in finding the one when the question we should be asking is "how can I be the one for him/her?" The point is this. When we search for our one, we've already laid the foundation for selfishness. If selfishness is not what drives a biblical marriage, it should not be what drives a biblical relationship. "Do Nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3). Rather than looking for that person to fit your list of characteristics that comprise your perfect spouse, you turn to scripture to see what defines a Godly man/woman. If you look hard enough, you'll see that our God calls us to love one another sacrificially. Loving sacrificially is what will secure the commitment in our relationships, not the fleeting feelings of finding our one.